Journal Entry: "Sometimes the light has to dim for you to see clearly."

On 3/5/20 @ 12:45PM I wrote:

“I was starting to focus so much on the light, that I was beginning to have an estranged relationship with the darkness.  Today I faced the darkness,  and eventually, I was settled. I found myself in stillness met with complete silence.  It was then that it was brought to my attention that sometimes the light has to dim for you to see clearly!

A while ago, I was coming across several social media posts, individuals and readings that shed light on the dangers of always looking to the light.  The unfortunate process associated with only speaking of your growth, always presenting positive and so on... It rubbed me the wrong way.  I sat with this for weeks, but i knew enough to know that I had this association for a reason and needed to look closer.  I would disconnect from anyone and anything that "challenged" me to look closer, beyond the surface, behind the light or in the shadows. 

Today, I couldn't hide or only focus on the light any longer.  I was forced to see myself, explore my thoughts which led me beyond the surface... It led me to a place I was trying to bury. 

In this moment, I am truly grateful for the pain, the resistance, the lingering effects, as it has made the unveiling of what was beneath the surface and in the shadows that much greater!

THANK YOU God, life and all the angels that surround me... Watching over me, protecting me, leading me and guiding me everyday!

With a heart of gratitude, THANK YOU!”

The journal entry above was written shortly after my last bodywork session on 3/5/20.  That moment of realization was pivotal in my transformation that has brought healing to assist during this time of shelter. There continues to be moments that lead to non-preferred feelings and emotions. But they don't last as long and are not as frequent as before.  Some moments feel the most difficult. Most moments feel (bearable) content because of growth. I feel guilty for really good days. Lonely during the non-preferred days. Grateful for the days I understand.

Light.

Dark.

Open.

Close.

Hidden.

Revealed.

Perspective.

One day at a time.

~ Shawnte Forrer

The Healing of Beach Yoga

Well, the time has come. Beach Yoga is no longer. At least for now. It was definitely good while it lasted!! We shared time during Donation Based Community Beach Yoga (DBCBY) from May till November of 2019. Six months of healing for sure! On the beach of Alameda at Shoreline Drive and Kittyhawk @ 9am.

There were dozens of wonderful yogis that chose to spend their Saturdays on the beach while weather permitted to practice and share the benefits of yoga. Some with a “regular” practice and some just to “check it out”. Each coming with their own set of intentions. Many openly reported they were coming to find community, peace, movement and solace. Sometimes lingering long after class to look out into the Bay, chat with old/new friends or just to sit a little longer to soak up the good vibes!!

Each week, I was grateful to lead anywhere from 2-15 yogis. Most of the season averaging around 8 bodies. Various bodies of different sizes, shapes and capabilities. Some eager and some reluctant. One thing each had in common, their desire for change! This desire led each individual to find and strengthen their physical, emotional and spiritual selves. I was fortunate to exchange a smile, hug or conversation with each beautiful being. Once at the end of a practice I was just so overjoyed with how the community showed up authentically, that I shed a few tears. Just the thought of that particular morning, still warms my heart!

I started doing yoga on the beach the morning of Mother’s Day 2018. Initially, I was nervous and self-conscious. But, by the end… I felt ALIVE!! It felt good to overcome a fear. I allowed my anxiety over it to fuel me, move me and for the first time, I was fully in MY MIND, BODY and SOUL HAPPILY!! I shared the experience with a few. It was the suggestion of a friend to start a class on the beach coupled with my passion that sparked something in me, a desire to share this experience with others.

The amount of support and love I received during DBCBY has been priceless!! The testimonies that others share of their experiences while practicing on the beach overwhelms me with pure joy! Some share the HEALING that has taken place in their lives because of it. They share that the benefits of this ancient practice has led to fewer migraines, increased feelings of confidence, improvements in their relationships, increase in ability to calm themselves when dealing with anxiety, decrease in depressive episodes, increase of self care off of the mat, better work weeks, mental clarity, greater physical strength/flexibility/balance… I mean the list goes on.

My journey with self-care and healing from past and current traumas is largely based on my commitment to show up and exchange in such a beautiful practice. Each person that I have shared in this experience with has also taught me in some way or another. Each exchange greatly appreciated!

Many have requested to continue this Saturday meet up. We have a few ideas of how to make it work in the absence of the beach now that the weather has turned cooler. We will continue to meet up. If you are interested, please reach out and I will gladly add you to the email list for Donation Based Community Yoga in an effort to make community and healing through yoga accessible to EVERYONE!!

Until we meet again under warmer skies at the beach… NAMASTE

Shawnte'